Toast

I got really excited about toast today. Not just any toast – Toast covered in almond butter and banana slices and honey. Yep, that’s all it takes, folks. Mario is one lucky guy.

Dressed up toast is much better than naked toast, isn’t it?

We are in the throws of a cleaner eating spell, after having indulged for the last few months.

We are also in the throws of what will be the last few weeks of a fun, fertility-treatment-filled year. June is the anniversary of us getting “aggressive” with trying to conceive. We half-assed it for the 3 years prior, before deciding that monitoring things like ovulation, etc was productive. And, at this point, I honestly don’t feel that any monitoring is productive. I’m sick of the trifecta of blood tests and shots and ultrasounds. They’re stupid and I hate them. I’m thankful for pale skin and good veins on most visits.

Next week, we’ll be handed over to an IVF specialist. I’m not sure what to think about that, so don’t ask. I feel like a Magic 8 Ball: “Reply hazy. Try again later.”

And, while I’m optimistic about seeking other options, I’m sad to be leaving our nurses at the infertility clinic we’ve been visiting. One of the two nurses at our current clinic has the best bed-side manner! I find myself hoping that she’s the one who treats me on the days I come in, instead of the “other” nurse. She walks into a room and the room lights up. She puts me at ease and helps me see the bigger picture. She tactfully apologizes when a cycle proves unsuccessful, still somehow sharing in my pain. The “Other Nurse” seems cold and sometimes makes me feel guilty for even trying. I don’t think she means to, but something about her personality won’t allow her to comfort.

If I had to compare the two to toast, Nurse A would be the almond butter, honey & banana version and Nurse Other, plain toast.

We can’t all be Miss Congeniality. I know not everyone is a people person, but I caught myself thinking about Nurse A and how much more pleasant the experience had been with her around. And, I decided that I want to be that for other people in my life. I want to be that person who has the ability to put others at ease. I want to be someone who people can seek out when they need comforting. We get so self-absorbed that we lose focus sometimes. I think our worlds would be a better place if we attempted to relate to others or just offer a moment of comfort. Or, just be there for others. Whether you know someone or not, the people we come in contact with on the daily deserve light. Some of them need it. I think it’s up to us to be that light and make this ridiculous world a fun place to be again.

Be the good toast.

tamihallman

Thoughts? I'd love to hear them!