I’ve got some good posts coming in the next week, but I need to talk about wisdom teeth for a minute, so bear with me.
I had my wisdom teeth taken out in high school. I don’t think the doctors did more than numb my mouth and give me a little gas. I could be wrong, but I feel like I was awake for the surgery, listening to them pull and scrape away, wondering how much blood was pooled in my mouth without my knowing it.
And the aftermath wasn’t that bad. I think I attended a high school play at the end of the week, swollen cheeks and all. To be honest, they weren’t even that swollen, and bruising was minimal.
Fast forward to this week, when my 32 year old husband decided that it was time for his to come out. Yeah… not the same experience at all.
I’ve been playing nurse for 3 days now, coming home everyday at lunch to make soup, ensuring that he gets all four of his meds on time and that the salt water rinses are occurring at regular intervals. I’ve even been suffering alongside him with the whole soft food thing… soup, mashed sweet potatoes, mashed cauliflower (masquerading as real potatoes) -yep keeping it Paleo, Jell-O – If it’s soft, we’ve added it to the menu. I drew the line with giving up bacon, though… I can’t quit bacon if bacon won’t quit me.
And the swelling… dear God, the swelling. I once had a hamster named Oreo in the third grade. I fed him to death. That’s right, not only was I a compulsive over-eater as a child, my pet was too. I think he weighed almost 3 lbs when I buried him in the backyard. He lived like 4 months total.
The husband’s cheeks remind me of Oreo, if Oreo wore glasses. And was Hispanic.
I wasn’t prepared for the swollen face I woke up to the day after surgery. And he wasn’t either. I almost wanted to cover the bathroom mirror, so that he didn’t see it. No telling what that sight does to someone’s confidence.
We are now on day 3. He’s still swollen and I’m still making soup at lunch, but it’s getting better.
Two things that crossed my mind today:
1. Removing one’s wisdom teeth should be a requirement (like vaccines) before age 20.
2. Why the hell didn’t the surgeon give us the teeth afterwards?! I would’ve liked to have seen those bad boys!